Topic > Why People Choose Forgiveness or Revenge

In every relationship, there will be situations where one individual does something that another considers hurtful or insensitive to their feelings. When this happens, the response is predictable. For many individuals, revenge can be the most satisfying option when they have been hurt, as it provides immediate justice. Revenge, or the "eye for an eye" approach, is rapidly becoming the predominant attitude in society. Forgiveness, on the other hand, is the refusal to hurt the person who hurt you. This can take on many meanings in different circumstances and includes situations ranging from refusing to "get even" on others, to refusing to prove to others how wrong they are. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on "Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned"? Get an original essay Previous studies have investigated explanations for why some individuals resist the desire to take revenge while others decide to cause distress and inflict pain on the person who “deserves it. The results showed that people tend to take revenge when they do not consider the consequences of their actions or the morality behind them. This essay will then discuss the reasons that have been identified for resisting the urge to enact revenge against a partner, with an emphasis on the personality and circumstances of the partner. In this essay I will first describe the characteristics and functions of both forgiveness and revenge, highlighting the consequences that can arise from these actions. I will then discuss the reasons why individuals decide to take revenge, based on the evidence shown in previous studies the effects of personality and life circumstances were also taken into account. Finally, the implications of these findings will be discussed, revealing how the present research offers in-depth insight into individuals' decision-making abilities. The term forgiveness is perplexing, yet it is also a universally accessible concept. There are many definitions of forgiveness, such as Hope's (1987) assertion that choosing to forgive is an act that frees a person from the need to seek revenge for past offenses. Lulofs (1992), on the other hand, believed that forgiveness means accepting and integrating past behaviors into an experience that helps create the unique identity of the individual in question. As different as these definitions may be, there is an overriding theme that follows. Forgiveness arises from an act of will; for the transgression to be forgiven, one party must make a decision. These decisions, and their consequences, involve cognitive, emotional and behavioral aspects. Forgiveness can therefore lead to healthier relationships and improved well-being and self-esteem. On the contrary, the desire for revenge is the cause of many forms of aggression. Psychologists and clinical therapists have begun to label revenge as a disease, and forgiveness as a cure. For example, previous literature on forgiveness implies that forgiveness is an alternative to revenge, with forgiveness being linked to reduced symptoms of anxiety and depression while revenge is negatively linked to health and well-being. It is therefore evident that both revenge and forgiveness have complementary functions and are the result of changes, which have become representative of man due to their effectiveness in solving the problems encountered during evolution. Many studies have investigated the reasons people offer for resisting the urge to retaliate when provoked by a partner. A study conducted by Boon, Rasmussen, Deveau, and Alibhai (2017) asked college students to recall a situation in which they wanted to get revenge on a partner and chose not to, explaining thetheir reasons or by choosing from a checklist. The results showed that there were three prevalent reasons that dictated the responses. First, participants believed that revenge was morally wrong and that obtaining it was even childish and immature. Second, because the consequences of a vengeful response are difficult to predict, respondents were concerned about the likelihood that the effort might fail to achieve its intended goals and even exacerbate the situation. Similarly, participants also believed that their partners might think they were crazy if they reacted and that they would perceive them as overreacting and no longer appreciate them. This would lead to damage in their relationship. This study therefore examined the three main factors that explain why people take revenge. However, due to the self-reported nature of the data, the results are subject to the usual biases and errors that occur when participants lack insight into the true causes of their behavior. Likewise, it is possible that participants' reported reasons for not retaliating do not match their actual reasons. In contrast, it has been theorized that the disposition to forgive is significantly related to personality traits, rather than moral reasons. Individuals who score high on agreeableness and emotional stability have been found to also score high on descriptors such as forgiveness and compassion. This could perhaps be due to the level of empathy these individuals have towards others and their tendency to be less distressed when faced with negative emotions. Participants in these studies however, particularly the study conducted by Ashton et al. (1998), all volunteers, which could influence the results somewhat. It can be assumed that more conscientious students completed the study, which may have led to biased results and misrepresentation of the data. Similarly, it was reported that people who had forgiven their partners once or twice before considered forgiving them a third time a grave betrayal and an act of idiocy. It can therefore be assumed that life circumstances will also influence people's decisions to forgive and forget, rather than to take revenge. This was supported by research conducted by Shackelford and Buss (1996), who found that people are more susceptible to revenge after being exploited by cheaters who promise commitment and investment in the relationship and never deliver. Therefore, the present research demonstrated that individuals who believe the action is morally wrong will change their partner's opinion of them or lead to negative consequences related to the extent to which an individual forgives another. Likewise, those who are more agreeable and emotionally stable are more likely to forgive than their counterparts, and those who have been betrayed before are more likely to retaliate. This demonstrates that the ability to understand emotions and their outcomes can help people resolve painful transgressions in relationships and increase satisfaction in all relationships. Please note: this is just an example. Get a custom paper from our expert writers now. Get a Custom Essay Future research should then explore the specific reasons why individuals with high agreeableness or emotional stability choose to forgive, comparing this to the three reasons mentioned previously. Agreeable, emotionally stable people forgive because of the empathy they feel for transgressors or they forgive to maintain their social status and dictate how they behave.:10.1177/0146167210372210